Fear of Fake Breasts


Until a man has made love to a woman with fake breasts, he cannot really comprehend their true horror.

For no matter how good they look, the spell is broken the moment they are touched by human hands. The real things manage to be both firm & soft, they feel undeniably human, they move, they are alive.
In comparison, counterfeit breasts feel as though they have been stolen from the morgue.

They (fake breasts) are not there to be fondled, kissed or felt, they are there to be admired, discussed, lusted after & photographed.

Why aren't there armies of thinking women protesting about the grotesquely booming trade in bogus breasts? Why don't women's magazines stop slavishly printing pictures of pumped-up stars with their pathetic plastic tits sticking out?
Is it because to really & truly know how rotten fake breasts are, you have to be a heterosexual man?

I can understand a woman wanting breast augmentation if she has a genetic defect or if she has had a mastectomy. But the overwhelming majority of operations are done for vanity.

They all (the incisions) hurt like hell.
I have never met a woman who did not find breast enlargement the most painful experience of their life.
But this initial pain is likely to be just the start of her problems.
Those silicon shells can break, leak or slip.
Breast sensitivity often goes out the window. The pain she feels after the op can endure for years - perhaps forever. And breast implants can make the detection of cancer far harder.

But last year in America alone, nearly 400,000 women had breast-enlargement surgery.

And speaking from the male perspective - sex with a woman wearing replicant breasts is no fun. That's the murderous irony - there's this mirage of perfection, this pert promise of ultimate pleasure, & the vision fades the moment you reach out to touch it.
Fake breasts are the cock-tease from hell.

There is an old Zen puzzle. If you have a sword & you first replace the handle, & then replace the blade - is it still the same sword? A woman can have so much work done that she is no longer the same woman.

Don't do it, girls. It should not take a man to tell you: learn to love yourself. Love what God gave you, no matter how much or how double-A little. Little can be fun. Little can be lovely.

Fake breasts look bad, feel bad & will one day make you feel bad.
If a woman wants to keep her health, her man & her self-respect, then she should always keep them real.

Fear of Fake Breasts
Tony Parsons
British GQ